Trust and Hesitance
by geekbydefault
Summary: Picks up in the last episode of season 3 where Arthur goes to kiss Gwen and Merlin sits on the stairs to the castle.
1. Chapter 1

Merlin watched as Arthur walked over to Gwen to take her into his arms, surrounded by his knights. He knew he had to take care of the sword first but there was something else that weighed on his shoulders.  
Something he had held back for years and now he thought it might be time to unleash it.  
He had waited so long for this and gone over in his head, countless of times, how to tell Arthur about his magic.  
Knowing that it would be more than just thoughts, wishes, he got hesitant for the first time.  
No matter how many scenarios he played out in his head, none of them could give him an answer to how Arthur would actually react.

He realized the reason he was worried didn't have anything to do about Arthur following his father's steps and execute Merlin for using magic.  
What he dreaded was losing his trust. He knew the irony in that true friendship is based on trust and Arthur not knowing the whole truth about Merlin was contradictive to that but he still thought of the prince as his closest friend.  
He had sacrificed himself for Merlin countless of times, without even hesitating.  
Granted he had done the same for Arthur but Merlin had the advantage of magic and the words of the Great Dragon echoing in his skull.

"_Destiny_."  
"_Two sides of the same coin_."

How Merlin had wanted to tell Arthur so many times before.  
How he had wanted to slap his magic in his face, figuratively speaking, to make him see just how much he had done for him. To open his eyes to who and what he truly was.  
Now he was hesitating.

Arthur made his way back towards Merlin with Gwen by his arm.  
They really looked their parts then and there when they came walking down the courtyard together. Future king and queen of Camelot.  
Merlin smiled at the two and wondered what part he would play in the story, now that it seemed he had fulfilled his task to ensure Arthur would live to become king.  
It was hard to believe that the first time they had met Merlin had been absolutely appalled by Arthur, when now he couldn't imagine his life without him.

As Gwen and Arthur got to the stairs were Merlin was sitting, he got up to meet them.  
"_So_" he said casually. "_What's next?_"  
Arthur smiled at him, glanced at Gwen then turned back to Merlin.  
"_Well normally I would ask you to polish my armor, wash my clothes, mock out the stables_."  
Merlin shot him a crooked smirk and raised an eyebrow in amusement.  
"_But I suspect you won't do any of that. Not anymore_."  
"_Whatever will you do with me then?_" Merlin asked with a light chuckle.  
"_Well_" Arthur said as he stepped away from Gwen to lay a hand on Merlin's left shoulder, very much like he did that time they were to fight the Great Dragon.  
"_I could always use a friend_."

Merlin snorted at first, expecting Arthur to give him his usual hearted shove but he kept his face straight. He was amazed over just how much authority Arthur had when he wanted to  
"_I think I could manage that_." Merlin replied and smiled at Arthur who then patted his shoulder and gave an earnest smile back at him.  
"_Also I do need some help concerning my father_" his smile now turned into a concerned frown and Gwen looked down into the ground as if he would be standing in front of them, judging them.  
"_He's not himself anymore, not after all this with Morgana and I don't know what to do_."  
The number of times Merlin had felt disgust for Uther Pendragon, he still felt his heart go out to Arthur as he knew all too well what it was like losing a father.

"_We'll figure this out Arthur, together_" Gwen said who was now looking at Arthur with all the love in her eyes and burrowed her hands in his. He fondled gently with her fingers then turned back to Merlin.  
"_I need you to get Gaius, I don't really know where else to go from here_."  
Merlin found it inappropriate to point out Arthur had just ordered him like old times; instead he just nodded and went back inside the castle.  
He was torn between wanting for Uther to get better, for Arthur's sake and not wanting him to – for the sake of the people.

Knowing it wasn't his place to decide he kept his promise and went to get Gaius.


	2. Chapter 2

Gaius was busy tending to Uther who was sitting in his bed, staring at the window's direction but not really focusing on anything.  
He tried to make him drink a potion that would help him sleep but most of it ended up on Uther's shirt instead. Gaius sighed and Merlin walked over to aid him as they brushed as much of it as they could from the king's clothes.  
Without a word they gathered all of the things Gaius had brought with him and exited the room.

"_How is he_?" Merlin asked, more to open a conversation than to look for an answer. He'd seen it; he knew Uther was doing far from well.

"_He's broken_" Gaius said, swiftly walking towards their chambers as if he couldn't wait to be as far away as possible from his old friend.

"_Morgana was his daughter, his light so he's fumbling in the darkness, trying to understand how it all could come to this_."  
A part of Merlin felt that Uther, being so blind and ignorant that he had been, had gotten what was coming to him. Then another part of him was feeling pity.

"_What about Arthur_?" Gaius now asked Merlin.

"_He's, you know, Arthur. Still a clot pole_." he smirked and Gaius snorted. "_But he's worried. Sad_."

"_You know Merlin, Arthur's time to take the throne may be closer than we'd expected_."

"_He's ready_" Merlin answered before letting Gaius even have the chance to elaborate "_and I'm ready to stand by his said, as always_."  
Gaius smiled and managed to get his left hand free so he could give Merlin a gentle pat on the shoulder.

"_I'm very proud of you Merlin did I ever tell you that_?"

"_Probably_" he said looking at Gaius, a little blushed and still uncomfortable by praise.

"_Well I am_" Gaius continued "_and I have no doubt you will do a fine job as the King's protector. And more importantly, close friend_".

"_I don't know if Arthur would agree with you on that last part_".

"_Oh_ _he would. He most likely wouldn't say it out loud, but he would_".

Merlin smiled, more than he probably should, and stared at his feet to hide it as they reached their chambers.


End file.
